I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
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Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
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He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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