Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize