I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
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