Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
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His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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