I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think your dad took our porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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