i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
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The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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