Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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