my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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