i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
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Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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