just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
where does the pee come out of this thing
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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