she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize