he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
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