Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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