I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize