Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
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I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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