Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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