Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
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I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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