Your face is a jimmy john
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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