K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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