After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize