I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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