I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize