she woke up with a sticky ear
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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