is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I am midnight drunk by noon
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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