dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
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Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
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Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
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