I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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