If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
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There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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