well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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