Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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