Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
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We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
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Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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