Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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