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You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
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