yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Is it because I queefed?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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