i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize