dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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