Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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