When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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