I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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