You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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