I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
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They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
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At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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