new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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