Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize