I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize