Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
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Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
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If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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