I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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