I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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