i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
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Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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