Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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