You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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