She's JV to your varsity
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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